school off center

   I have never EVER been good at school.  I struggled every day.  Nothing ever came easy.  I didn't really learn to read until 5th grade and to this day I can't tell time or make change.  Don't even ask about a foreign language.  So how did I learn to make it through college.

   OK I didn't really make it through college I rocked it out.  Once I learned that I don't like to study during the day and not everyone has to read upright.  I use put on my head phones and listen to music and write papers all night long.  What did my poor roommates think?  I don't think they liked it very much.  Matter of fact I don't blame half of them for having never spoke to me after we parted ways.

   So what has that got to do with life today not a whole lot but I like to think that even though it takes me 5 to 10 times longer to learn something or even understand something that I will eventually get it.  I have to believe that I have the capacity to eventually learn what comes easy to everyone else. 

   Take a quick look at how YOU learn and then remember to be kind to yourself.  Some of us need to make the same mistake over and over again.  I believe in you.


       

flying off center

sit in the middle seat and force everyone around you to talk. 

Parenting off center

I often look at my kids and think where the hell did I go wrong?  They fight most of their time together.  Sometimes I just stammer when trying to discipline them.  Saying "what made you think that was a good idea?"  I'm pretty sure they don't know why they do half the things they do.  I think children live on base guttural instincts.  I want, I take.  Most of the time what they want is my time, my space or my brain power.  I liken them to leaches sucking me dry.  Let me set the record straight I LOVE my children more then anything in the world.  I would do anything for them but I do need a shred of dignity right?

    So how do I discipline off center?  I have NO idea do you?  So how will I get there?  Right now I'm trying to dump everything I have learned and then pick and wade through the mess.  What really works and what have I been told works but is a great big lie that will never work in my life! 

   So today I being sifting gently through the carnage in hopes that somewhere I have learned or created a parenting tactic that works 50% off the time.  I'm a realist if I hit 50% I will pat myself on the back and you should too!

learning to live again.

I am still very new at learning to live life off center.  



   I am still trying to figure out all the different ways I can learn to be me.  Every few hours I say to myself "It's OK to be off".  I am learning how to add it into my life very slowly.   Today it was throwing out all my old ideas about organizing and working with a book written just for ADHDers.  

   Tonight I am working on weight issues.  I am terribly over weight and for the past 15 years I have looked at every diet and looked at everyone around me and thought why can't I be like them?  What do they have that I don't? What do they know that I don't?  Now I am trying to change my thinking.  It has worked so far in everything else so I am hoping it will work for this.  I have to be patient with myself something very very new for me. 

   So how does this living off center work first you have to say to yourself "I am not like everyone else and I don't need to be."  I give you permission to be yourself!  Now give it a try!

How I garden

I tend to get bored with gardening so when I hit that point I like to run over it with a lawn mower.  Normal Naw fun HELL YEAH! 

We're all slightly mad...

Let the journey begin.  Keep in mind I'm not a fabulous writer.  My only hope is I will get better as work towards living life off center.

    I have spent 35  years of my life trying very hard and failing very often to be like everyone else.  Tonight I sat with my husband by a very small lake and declared that I was no longer going to try to be like everyone else.  Why should I?  I have ADHD so my brain has never worked like everyone else.  Not only that but I'm a women with ADHD.  I tried to do things like everyone but when I stopped and well meandered and wandered to the beat of my own drum I found I got where I wanted to go just in a very different way.  I need to start doing this again.  I can't be my mother or father.  I can't be like the rest of the world so I need to stop trying.  

   I have been married for 13 years a feat unto its self so were not overly normal there.  I have two children and 1 step child all girls again not the norm.  One of the girls has ADHD and Aspergers/Autism again not the norm (more prevalent in boys).  I lived in Australia for exactly one year.  I'm afraid of my neighbor ( I was always odd).  I love LOVE chickens, Science Fiction yup I'm a geek, I suck at disciplining my kids.  I LOVE Doctor Who.  I love to read.  I could go on and I will later.

    So why have dragged you all here?  I just wanted to know if you wanted to join me in this very freeing statement?  Live Life Off  Center.  Stop trying to live up to what you think you should be because your not going to make it soooo come at it off center, off kilter and be slightly mad.